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The Best Laid Plans...

Lately I've been trying to hold myself accountable with being present and appreciating the journey. It's easy to get wrapped up in this ever-changing world and lack respect for the situation you're currently in and the work you put in to get there. Recently, I watched a documentary that reinforced the idea that "everything happens for a reason" and I've been internally discussing this topic a lot lately. When I was younger, going through the rough patches that your 20's throw at you, this was the motto I stood by. I'd tell myself "everything happens for a reason" to help distract from whatever pain I was battling in that moment. I held on to the faith that it was all part of a greater plan; but I watched my best laid plans crumble before me. I focused on the sliver of hope that the hurt and disappointment I was enduring would and lead me to something greater. Looking back now, I realize... It's funny how things work out.

Nine years and more than a handful of failed college classes flew by, I still hadn't gotten my nursing license. In my teens and early 20's I was convinced I would be married and have a family by the time I was 25. When I was 19 I decided I was going to live somewhere else, move out to Colorado or California; see the world. The reality of my situation is that I was 27 years old and living in a 400 sq ft. apartment... still bartending, still working as a CNA. I had no idea how I would pull myself out of the failures I'd rightfully earned. Everywhere I turned, it seemed I couldn't catch a break, I was watching my dreams crash down around me as every single one of my best laid plans failed me. Or so I thought. Turns out, once I stopped pitying myself, blaming the rest of the world for my own losses and started taking accountability, things fell right in to place. I've realized that when you finally put your head down and work, the blessings you've always asked for end up finding their way to you.

The life we're living moves so quickly, it's tough to pause long enough to take in how far we've come and truly appreciate it. I remember having dreams of being a nurse. I had dreams of being an ER nurse in specific, I had dreams of traveling the country, I had dreams of letting horses consume me again, and I dreamt of having a man by my side that supported all of it. A year ago, if you'd have told me I'd get to see all five of those dreams come true, I would have laughed in your face.

Moral of the story: keep chasing those dreams.

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